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Listen Up! Your Lack of Listening Skills Is Showing

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Are You Really Really Listening

Are You Really Really Listening

Seriously, listen up!  You probably lack listening skills and I would be willing to take this a step further and say other people would say that to your face.  You don’t listen to what is being said.

When Did It Become Okay to Tune People Out?

It never became okay to tune people out.  You have no problem listening to music.  You can even sing along, so why the heck are you going through your day not listening to what people are truly saying to you?

My Post on Facebook Stirred a Good Conversation

This is my post:

I have been thinking about this a lot, people do not listen. They talk, in fact, they talk over you, around you, behind you, interruptedly, and more. They do not listen. If they listened there would be less need for anyone to be repetitive, less need for anyone to roll their eyes, less need for me to drink alcohol, well wait – scratch that. Why don’t people truly listen, you know listen to understand?

It started a nice back and forth and I asked those who participated if I could quote them.

My friend Claire was the first to post a response: “It takes effort. It’s work to be present, to be engaged. People don’t even give movies their full attention even when they’re paying $15 a ticket at the theater. They’re still taking their phones out and face booking. We’re lazy and inconsiderate.”

Then my friend Jeff chimed in with this:  “Most people, and I am guilty of this also, are thinking about their reply or what they want to say as the other person is speaking. totally an impediment to listening.”

Emmy gave me permission so I copied and pasted what she said here and her A point is about duality we are forming a response.

Emmy wrote: “There was a lot of discussion about this at the AZ convention this past week. Why don’t we listen? Because A., like Jeff said, we’re too busy formulating our response B. We have a tendency to think that what we need/want to say is more important than what the other person is saying. We HAVE to get our point/opinion across.

It’s a true skill that less and less people are working on.”

Then someone I really have met face to face Lillian offered this:  “Communication, in general, can be difficult. Clarity is not easily attained. So, a person might think they are being clear and are expecting a clear, concise response but the person responding may not have clarity on the initial question,problem, statement etc. We all think we are being very clear when we speak but we’re often not clear at all. I give credit to people that continue the dialogue, ask more questions, clear up misconceptions and take time from their hectic, busy day to communicate, even if it takes a while to achieve clarity. Then, I’m mostly Italian and from New Jersey. LOL. We do whatever it takes to get the job done.”

Crystal offered up her thoughts: “My grandfather taught me what divine wisdom really meant. The reason we have two ears & one mouth is because we should be listening to others twice as much as we talk to them.”

Theresa jumped in with a comment about alcohol referencing my need for it when I get exasperated with people who do not listen.

Sherri from Stuart, FL left this response: “Active Listening is an art lost to most people. They are so busy thinking about what they want to say that they don’t truly HEAR what is being said. While it is true that some people fail to articulate clearly what they are trying to get across, I believe failing to actively listen and pay attention is the problem in the majority of communication.”

All very good points and while I know I am just as guilty as the next person I really do work hard to listen well.  Many times rather than formulating a response, I will repeat what someone just said to me.  It clarifies the communication and also proves I was truly listening.

We need to slow down and show our listening skills more.  We have possibly buried them, but we can resurrect them and become a super-star listener.

How do you feel about this discussion?

Listen Up!  You could be missing something that is very important, listen up.

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To get in touch with me send me an email to:

carole@carolesanek.com

I removed the ability to comment on my websites on the advice of several developer friends I know well after a mean nasty person managed to get into one of my sites, insert a plugin and then taunt me by posting a guest blog set to publish 10 days later.  Spammy comments and plugins are two ways people can get into your sites.  Please feel free to send me an email, I do answer.  Or opt in here and you will always get my latest thoughts.  There is a floating optin bouncing around –and thanks all.

 

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