HE OUTDREW ME

He absolutely outdrew me. I am at a point in my life where no one is ever going to frighten me again and sadly, being yelled at frightens me.

Years ago, I was in a physically abusive relationship where being yelled at meant a slap or a punch was next. It is a trigger for me now. I retreated.

He outdrew me.

Oh, I can yell back, but what does that accomplish? Men can yell louder than a woman. Men can hit harder too.

He outdrew me.

He shot me down. His words were like bullets that pierced my heart. I saw myself falling to the floor. I was stunned and lying there in disbelief. Every plan, every future moment, everything we were going to do was gone immediately because this time I would not allow one more opportunity to be yelled at to happen to me.

He outdrew me and walked out.

An apology came, but what is a written apology if the words in it are only circling the truth? Some of his remorse was real, but the meaty parts were missing.

He outdrew me and love is not a victory march.

No one wins when love loses and two people have wounded each other. There are two people lying on the floor bleeding out. There is no victory, it is a broken Hallelujah.