Chapter 5
I have shared a lot of information, and there is still more to come. I have been sharing how the health of your emotions will improve by being forgiving, and now I would like to do a deeper dive on how your physical health will improve when you practice forgiveness.
How would you like a longer life span? I found a study done 10 years ago that showed how people who can only forgive someone when it is a two-sided forgiveness die earlier than those who can forgive for themselves.
Not everyone who has hurt you is going to step up to the plate and offer an apology. Yet we all have or know a curmudgeon who will stubbornly never forgive without hearing “I am sorry too” from the other person.
When you hold on to anger, you are more likely to be in that flight or fight mode which can affect blood pressure and your heart. However, when you truly forgive that leads to decreased stress, which can help you take that anger to a lower level.
What else improves? This is big and I am always reading posts from friends stating their sleep is terrible. Forgiveness will improve your sleep and you will be less fatigued.
There have been many studies done on this topic, and I am particularly interested in the fact forgiveness can boost your immune system. Now more than ever before we are all concerned about our immune systems. As we age our immunities decrease to begin with, we should do things that help us rather than hurt us.
Forgiveness will build your self-esteem. Think about that for a moment. When you forgive someone who has been deliberately terrible to you, you move forward. You moved away from them (I hope) and that will be an enormous boost to your self-esteem. You will be proud of yourself, you will walk taller and smile more.
One other thing that will be reduced is your anxiety level.
I had a friendship that was very dear to me but it was riddled with anxiety provoking moments. We would make plans and this friend would always change them, reducing a visit by days or cancelling a visit completely. The friendship ended. My husband, Larry, was happy for me, I was miserable but he pointed out that this friend made me extremely anxious and also had been hurting my feelings for years.
It took me years to forgive this friend, and after Larry died, my phone rang and when I heard the familiar voice, I did not become anxious. I had already done the forgiving, and I knew no matter what words they said, what promises were made, they wouldn’t come true. A promise was made. It did not come true, and I just shrugged it off and moved forward. Forgiveness lasts.
I just needed to step out of the old relationship and heal. When you heal you see the patterns, you know what will happen, and you don’t allow it to upset you because in healing you no longer care.
It will amaze you at how good you feel both emotionally and physically when you forgive.
Your heart will be open to all those things you have been missing out on, and life will be so much better.
I promise and when the sun goes down at night, everything will be in a better place, especially your heart.
You’re so interesting in your thoughts. Thanks for sharing. Forgiveness can be one sided.
Thank you for reading me. xoxo