It’s Never Easy Being Green

No, it is never easy being green.

Kermit the Frog sang about this and it taught children to realize they will encounter people who do not look like them, or act like them, or speak like them.

I am feeling green. It seems my demeanor, in the way I speak, grates on the nerves of some Southern gentlemen. In thinking about it, I realized the two gentlemen who said I am too opinionated, which means too strong, are both short and both had mother issues.

This begs the question whom were they hearing when I spoke?

My guess is they heard their mothers. Unfortunately, because they already had the short man’s genes in life, adding a mean mother to the mix put me in the penalty box the first time I ever made a suggestion or gave an opinion.

I was dead in the water, probably from the first time we met.

It is no secret to my family and friends I am trying to meet a nice gentleman through the use of a dating application. From the very first date, I had material for a book. There are 3 gentlemen who have become friends because they were geographically too distant from me. The rest I wouldn’t hit in the ass with a shovel because my shoulder would act up. They need it though.

I want to know when it became okay to talk about sex on the second date. I get it. They may believe they could die soon, but still. I consider myself to be a very open-minded woman, however I do not want to talk about sex before I even held hands with a man.

When I tell my girlfriends my latest adventure in datingland they laugh. I do not shock easily, however I have been shocked and appalled and I have left men sitting at a restaurant table unperturbed. They are already moving on to the next woman they plan to ask out, oh I mean ask for sex. My walking out never bothered them.

I wrote a new introductory message which I intend to use with all future connections. I want to know how they felt about their mothers after ascertaining they are taller than 5’7″ tall. I will also write I will not go down the sex talk highway without establishing a relationship first.


I also intend to state I am an independent, strong, woman who has an opinion and if this is going to be a problem, just keep swiping left or right. In fact, I might only reply to men from the Midwest or Northern states since I am not batting well with Southern men who seem to not like opinionated females.

The last one did not like it when I gave my opinion about his dog. He drives with his dog on his lap. I expressed I wasn’t happy about this because it could cause a serious accident. He told me his dog was worth the risk, and I sat there thinking okay so you are okay with risking your life, but what about my life?

Maybe I have seen too many deadly crash ER victims in my life. I know I just don’t want to be one.

The best lesson I have learned in all this is to be much more selective in responding to the men who want to meet me. I also have a nice group of women in my life who know people in this area. I can resume seeing them more now. I can attend events on my own, take a cooking class, go to hear a cover band, and just be me, that strong, independent, and opinionated woman who doesn’t mind being alone.

I know darn well when I stop looking I will find someone really special, someone who likes green.